BLUE BOY

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It was the fall of 2001 and the Los Angeles Times said that the Titan Arum (the Corpse Flower or Stinky Flower) would be blooming at the Huntington Gallery in San Marinoo only today. It was one of the largest flowers in the world and bloomed only every five years and only for three days. Twenty two years ago, there were many fewer of them in the world, but the Huntington had snaffled one. Yesterday, it had been at its best. Today would be the last chance to see it in flower. Tomorrow, the flower would wilt and die

Corpse flower known as Amophophallus titanum blooming in Honolulu Hawaii and releasing an odor smelling like rotting flesh

I explained this to my grandson GS who was eating his breakfast at the other side of the tiny table. I did not call it a Corpse Flower. I called it a Stinky Flower. Six-year-old boys like gross, in moderation. Why did it smell bad? To attract flies to pollinate it. A few minutes of negotiation convinced his mother who was hurrying out to work that a school called Play Mountain Place would not disapprove of a day off to study a rare botanical specimen.

So we set off in my green Toyota Tercel from our barrio off Venice Blvd. I had just had major surgery and had come down from Canada to recover. The surgeon had recklessly removed my courage along with the part I had signed up for. I was no longer a road warrior on strange freeways. If I got confused, GS sitting behind me in his child seat, calmly pointed out where I should go.

The last thing my daughter said to me, “Oh, the Blue Boy is there. Be sure to see him.”

There was a very long line and it was hot in the sun, despite the free bottles of water. At certain points the smell of – let’s be frank – dead animal was overwhelming.

Then we went to lunch. Fortunately, a docent sitting at the next table was delighted to answer all the probing questions I couldn’t. Both of GS’s grandfathers were physicists and mathematicians. One of them had a double PhD. The other was my ex-husband.

After lunch, we looked at pictures. I was distracted by the blonde bombshell at my side. I had lost him in major airports, where I had to choose between catching him and losing our luggage. I still had him.

GS was close by my side when I walked into a room and there was the Blue Boy. I was so gobsmacked that I loosened my grip on my grandson’s hand. He slipped silently away. When I tore my eyes away from the full length portrait of the Boy in Blue, I saw a small being at the end of the room engrossed in the portrait there.

There was no one else there. Even the watcher had stood up from her chair and stepped around the corner. I wanted to stand there forever.

But I heard, “Can we go now? I’ve seen them all.”

It wasn’t enough. I had to go back the next day, without my mercurial companion.

As I passed the Titan Arum, I saw that it was a sad memory of its former glory.

I bought a small book about the Thomas Gainsborough’s Blue Boy (est. 1770) and and Sir Thomas Lawrence’s Pinkie (1793). The lithe girl hung opposite the Blue boy. Both people depicted are young, and Henry E. Huntington bought them both in the 1920s; otherwise, there is no connection between them.

Pinkie’s pink bonnet strings and her filmy white dress, with the wide pink sash are lifting in the breeze. Her pink lips are small, demure, kissable. A week before the portrait was to be exhibited at the royal Academy Exhibition, Pinkie died. She had had a cough, which may indicate she died of tuberculosis. The portrait vanished from view for many years, but it was known to be in the possession of Pinkie’s brother, the father of the poet, Elizabeth Barrett-Browning.

The little book The Blue Boy and Pinkie by Robert R. Wark, a ‘noted art historian’ was published by the Huntington Gallery in 1963. Wark gives the standard 1963 account of who modeled for the portrait. Indeed the print that I bought has the name in script at the bottom of the white window mat, Master Jonathan Buttall, the son of a wealthy ironmonger (hardware merchant). It is probable Gainsborough became a friend of the elder Buttall in Ipswich where they both lived before moving to London. Gainsborough was only 11-years-older than Master Buttall. We know they were friends because the artist left a short list of those he wanted at his funeral in 1788, including Jonathan.

Henry Huntington paid $728,000 for the Blue Boy in 1921. It is estimated to be worth over $9 billion today.

In the 1790s, Buttall’s business came upon hard times and his household effects were sold at auction, including the Blue Boy for 35 guineas. He died late in 1805 at the age of the age of 53, in which case, he would have been born in 1752. The portrait seems to have been exhibited in at the Royal Academy in 1770, which would have made Jonathan eighteen

When I sat down to write this blog post, Google did not agree with Robert R Wark, noted art historian though he was. Today’s noted art historians suggest it was Gainsborough Dupont, Thomas’s nephew, or, just to be awkward, that there was no sitter.

We know that a Van Dyke Costume such as the Blue Boy is wearing was available for Gainsborough’s sitters. The Honourable Edward Bouverie chose to wear it for his portrait in 1773, same lace collar and cuffs. Another sitter Paul Cobb Methuen also wore it. It was the fashion in those days to dress in the costume of sitters for Sir Anthony Van Dyck. Women also chose to do this.

Whenever I see or remember the Blue Boy, I recall the smooth confidence of the young man, relaxed, calm, forthright, somewhat assertive, no doubt the product of wealth and class.

I spent 35-years, studying boys of this age as they entered my classroom for the first time, sussing out the troublemakers. Blue Boy would not be one, so long as he was treated with the respect he felt he deserved.

In my opinion, however, genius he was, no one, not even Gainsborough could paint that face and cavalier posture or the glint of light on the left sleeve without a model.

After I read Mr. Wark’s little book, believing it was a picture of Jonathan Buttall, I wondered how how he had changed by the time of his bankruptcy. Had his widow’s peak rendered him bald? Did he have a paunch from English beef and pudding? Had life battered that beauty and serenity out of him when he died at 53?

When Huntington Museum xrayed the Blue Boy , it discovered that Gainsborough had reused an old canvas. The head of an older man was revealed above the Blue Boy’s. Surely, a painter would not reuse an old canvas in front of a wealthy sitter. Surely, Gainsborough fired up by the challenge had seized the first canvas that came to hand in his enthusiasm to disprove the older artist.

There is another story that Gainsborough painted the picture in answer to an essay by Sir Joshua Reynolds, head of the Royal Academy of Arts. Reynolds held that no great picture could be predominately blue. It must be made of warmer colors. Gainsborough took this as a challenge to be disproved.

Blue Boy went back to London for a four month visit on the hundredth anniversary of its relocation to the United States of America, but it is home at the Huntington again now.

If I were Los Angeles now, I would get GS to drive me down to San Marino to see the true colors of the Blue Boy. GS would keep track of the cane I’m always misplacing.

See joyce@joycehowe.com for latest book
I Trust You to Kill Me
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New Novel Goes to Formatter and Cover Artist

Featured

Here is the prologue to my new novel set in 2120, as climate change is undermining civilization.

I Trust You to Kill Me:

Al-Hallaj Mansour, a Sufi master, uttered these words on the banks of the Tigris when he was martyred in Bagdad on March 26, 922.

The charge against him was that by saying ‘Anal al Haq,’ (I am Truth.) he claimed to be God.

Was he saying ‘I trust you to kill me’ directly to God or was he speaking to his executioner? If all of us are God, then the executioner was merely God’s agent.

Mansour was hit in the face, whipped into unconsciousness, and finally decapitated or hanged while thousands watched.

Whatever else, Mansour’s words mean that he accepted his death in expectation of union with the Divine.

This story begins On December 18, 2119, 1200 years later in Colombia, a violent and volcanic land, home of cocaine, heroin and magic realism.

I Trust You to Kill Me should be ready for publishing in in late April. It asks how should we live in this perilous time and answers with laughter and love.

Learning to Die in the Anthropocene: Scranton’s book

Featured

January 6, 2021 Storming of the Capitol

To prevent the inevitable hysteria, riot and social breakdown, according to Scranton, we must learn to die. In other words, stop. Don’t react. Don’t amplify your own reaction by passing it on. Suspend the stress chain by pausing, taking time to assess the information, to question the source, to debate, to place it in the framework of cultural history, to “rework the stock of remembering”, to let go.

https://115journals.com/2021/02/25/learning-to-die-in-the-anthropocene-reflections-on-scrantons-book-2/(opens in a new tab)

https://115journals.com/Learning to Die in the Anthropocene

BLUE BOY

It was the fall of 2001 and the Los Angeles Times said that the Titan Arum (the Corpse Flower or Stinky Flower) would be blooming at the Huntington Gallery in San Marinoo only today. It was one of the largest flowers in the world and bloomed only every five years and only for three days. Twenty two years ago, there were many fewer of them in the world, but the Huntington had snaffled one. Yesterday, it had been at its best. Today would be the last chance to see it in flower. Tomorrow, the flower would wilt and die.

Corpse flower known as Amophophallus titanum blooming in Honolulu Hawaii and releasing an odor smelling like rotting flesh

I explained this to my grandson GS who was eating his breakfast at the other side of the tiny table. I did not call it a Corpse Flower. I called it a Stinky Flower. Six-year-old boys like gross, in moderation. Why did it smell bad? To attract flies to pollinate it. A few minutes of negotiation convinced his mother who was hurrying out to work that a school called Play Mountain Place would not disapprove of a day off to study a rare botanical specimen.

So we set off in my green Toyota Tercel from our barrio off Venice Blvd. I had just had major surgery and had come down from Canada to recover. The surgeon had recklessly removed my courage along with the part I had signed up for. I was no longer a road warrior on strange freeways. If I got confused, GS sitting behind me in his child seat, calmly pointed out where I should go.

The last thing my daughter said to me, “Oh, the Blue Boy is there. Be sure to see him.”

There was a very long line and it was hot in the sun, despite the free bottles of water. At certain points the smell of – let’s be frank – dead animal was overwhelming.

Then we went to lunch. Fortunately, a docent sitting at the next table was delighted to answer all the probing questions I couldn’t. Both of GS’s grandfathers were physicists and mathematicians. One of them had a double PhD. The other was my ex-husband.

After lunch, we looked at pictures. I was distracted by the blonde bombshell at my side. I had lost him in major airports, where I had to choose between catching him and losing our luggage. I still had him.

GS was close by my side when I walked into a room and there was the Blue Boy. I was so gobsmacked that I loosened my grip on my grandson’s hand. He slipped silently away. When I tore my eyes away from the full length portrait of the Boy in Blue, I saw a small being at the end of the room engrossed in the portrait there.

There was no one else there. Even the watcher had stood up from her chair and stepped around the corner. I wanted to stand there forever.

But I heard, “Can we go now? I’ve seen them all.”

It wasn’t enough. I had to go back the next day, without my mercurial companion.

As I passed the Titan Arum, I saw that it was a sad memory of its former glory.

I bought a small book about the Thomas Gainsborough’s Blue Boy (est. 1770) and and Sir Thomas Lawrence’s Pinkie (1793). The lithe girl hung opposite the Blue boy. Both people depicted are young, and Henry E. Huntington bought them both in the 1920s; otherwise, there is no connection between them.

Pinkie’s pink bonnet strings and her filmy white dress, with the wide pink sash are lifting in the breeze. Her pink lips are small, demure, kissable. A week before the portrait was to be exhibited at the royal Academy Exhibition, Pinkie died. She had had a cough, which may indicate she died of tuberculosis. The portrait vanished from view for many years, but it was known to be in the possession of Pinkie’s brother, the father of the poet, Elizabeth Barrett-Browning.

The little book The Blue Boy and Pinkie by Robert R. Wark, a ‘noted art historian’ was published by the Huntington Gallery in 1963. Wark gives the standard 1963 account of who modeled for the portrait. Indeed the print that I bought has the name in script at the bottom of the white window mat, Master Jonathan Buttall, the son of a wealthy ironmonger (hardware merchant). It is probable Gainsborough became a friend of the elder Buttall in Ipswich where they both lived before moving to London. Gainsborough was only 11-years-older than Master Buttall. We know they were friends because the artist left a short list of those he wanted at his funeral in 1788, including Jonathan.

Henry Huntington paid $728,000 for the Blue Boy in 1921. It is estimated to be worth over $9 billion today.

In the 1790s, Buttall’s business came upon hard times and his household effects were sold at auction, including the Blue Boy for 35 guineas. He died late in 1805 at the age of the age of 53, in which case, he would have been born in 1752. The portrait seems to have been exhibited in at the Royal Academy in 1770, which would have made Jonathan eighteen.

When I sat down to write this blog post, Google did not agree with Robert R Wark, noted art historian though he was. Today’s noted art historians suggest it was Gainsborough Dupont, Thomas’s nephew, or, just to be awkward, that there was no sitter.

We know that a Van Dyke Costume such as the Blue Boy is wearing was available for Gainsborough’s sitters. The Honourable Edward Bouverie chose to wear it for his portrait in 1773, same lace collar and cuffs. Another sitter Paul Cobb Methuen also wore it. It was the fashion in those days to dress in the costume of sitters for Sir Anthony Van Dyck. Women also chose to do this.

Whenever I see or remember the Blue Boy, I recall the smooth confidence of the young man, relaxed, calm, forthright, somewhat assertive, no doubt the product of wealth and class.

I spent 35-years, studying boys of this age as they entered my classroom for the first time, sussing out the troublemakers. Blue Boy would not be one, so long as he was treated with the respect he felt he deserved.

In my opinion, however, genius he was, no one, not even Gainsborough could paint that face and cavalier posture or the glint of light on the left sleeve without a model.

After I read Mr. Wark’s little book, believing it was a picture of Jonathan Buttall, I wondered how how he had changed by the time of his bankruptcy. Had his widow’s peak rendered him bald? Did he have a paunch from English beef, port and pudding? Had life battered that beauty and serenity out of him when he died at 53?

There is another story that Gainsborough painted the picture in answer to an essay by Sir Joshua Reynolds, head of the Royal Academy of Arts. Reynolds held that no great picture could be predominately blue. It must be made of warmer colors. Gainsborough took this as a challenge to be disproved.

When Huntington Museum xrayed the Blue Boy , it discovered that Gainsborough had reused an old canvas. The head of an older man was revealed above the Blue Boy’s. Surely, a painter would not reuse an old canvas in front of a wealthy sitter. Surely, Gainsborough fired up by the challenge had seized the first canvas that came to hand in his enthusiasm to disprove the older artist.

Blue Boy went back to London for a four month visit on the hundredth anniversary of its relocation to the United States of America, but it is home at the Huntington again now.

If I were Los Angeles, I would get GS to drive me down to San Marino to see the true colors of the Blue Boy. GS would keep track of the cane I’m always misplacing.

See joyce@joycehowe.com for latest book
I Trust You to Kill Me
Sign up your email address for a FREE cop of e-book,
Monthly draw.

BLUE BOY

It was the fall of 2001 and the Los Angeles Times said that the Titan Arum (the Corpse Flower or Stinky Flower) would be blooming at the Huntington Gallery in San Marinoo only today. It was one of the largest flowers in the world and bloomed only every five years and only for three days. Twenty two years ago, there were many fewer of them in the world, but the Huntington had snaffled one. Yesterday, it had been at its best. Today would be the last chance to see it in flower. Tomorrow, the flower would wilt and die.

Corpse flower known as Amophophallus titanum blooming in Honolulu Hawaii and releasing an odor smelling like rotting flesh

I explained this to my grandson GS who was eating his breakfast at the other side of the tiny table. I did not call it a Corpse Flower. I called it a Stinky Flower. Six-year-old boys like gross, in moderation. Why did it smell bad? To attract flies to pollinate it. A few minutes of negotiation convinced his mother who was hurrying out to work that a school called Play Mountain Place would not disapprove of a day off to study a rare botanical specimen.

So we set off in my green Toyota Tercel from our barrio off Venice Blvd. I had just had major surgery and had come down from Canada to recover. The surgeon had recklessly removed my courage along with the part I had signed up for. I was no longer a road warrior on strange freeways. If I got confused, GS sitting behind me in his child seat, calmly pointed out where I should go.

The last thing my daughter said to me, “Oh, the Blue Boy is there. Be sure to see him.”

There was a very long line and it was hot in the sun, despite the free bottles of water. At certain points the smell of – let’s be frank – dead animal was overwhelming.

Then we went to lunch. Fortunately, a docent sitting at the next table was delighted to answer all the probing questions I couldn’t. Both of GS’s grandfathers were physicists and mathematicians. One of them had a double PhD. The other was my ex-husband.

After lunch, we looked at pictures. I was distracted by the blonde bombshell at my side. I had lost him in major airports, where I had to choose between catching him and losing our luggage. I still had him.

GS was close by my side when I walked into a room and there was the Blue Boy. I was so gobsmacked that I loosened my grip on my grandson’s hand. He slipped silently away. When I tore my eyes away from the full length portrait of the Boy in Blue, I saw a small being at the end of the room engrossed in the portrait there.

There was no one else there. Even the watcher had stood up from her chair and stepped around the corner. I wanted to stand there forever.

But I heard, “Can we go now? I’ve seen them all.”

It wasn’t enough. I had to go back the next day, without my mercurial companion.

As I passed the Titan Arum, I saw that it was a sad memory of its former glory.

I bought a small book about the Thomas Gainsborough’s Blue Boy (est. 1770) and and Sir Thomas Lawrence’s Pinkie (1793). The lithe girl hung opposite the Blue boy. Both people depicted are young, and Henry E. Huntington bought them both in the 1920s; otherwise, there is no connection between them.

Pinkie’s pink bonnet strings and her filmy white dress, with the wide pink sash are lifting in the breeze. Her pink lips are small, demure, kissable. A week before the portrait was to be exhibited at the royal Academy Exhibition, Pinkie died. She had had a cough, which may indicate she died of tuberculosis. The portrait vanished from view for many years, but it was known to be in the possession of Pinkie’s brother, the father of the poet, Elizabeth Barrett-Browning.

The little book The Blue Boy and Pinkie by Robert R. Wark, a ‘noted art historian’ was published by the Huntington Gallery in 1963. Wark gives the standard 1963 account of who modeled for the portrait. Indeed the print that I bought has the name in script at the bottom of the white window mat, Master Jonathan Buttall, the son of a wealthy ironmonger (hardware merchant). It is probable Gainsborough became a friend of the elder Buttall in Ipswich where they both lived before moving to London. Gainsborough was only 11-years-older than Master Buttall. We know they were friends because the artist left a short list of those he wanted at his funeral in 1788, including Jonathan.

Henry Huntington paid $728,000 for the Blue Boy in 1921. It is estimated to be worth over $9 billion today.

In the 1790s, Buttall’s business came upon hard times and his household effects were sold at auction, including the Blue Boy for 35 guineas. He died late in 1805 at the age of the age of 53, in which case, he would have been born in 1752. The portrait seems to have been exhibited in at the Royal Academy in 1770, which would have made Jonathan eighteen

When I sat down to write this blog post, Google did not agree with Robert R Wark, noted art historian though he was. Today’s noted art historians suggest it was Gainsborough Dupont, Thomas’s nephew, or, just to be awkward, that there was no sitter.

We know that a Van Dyke Costume such as the Blue Boy is wearing was available for Gainsborough’s sitters. The Honourable Edward Bouverie chose to wear it for his portrait in 1773, same lace collar and cuffs. Another sitter Paul Cobb Methuen also wore it. It was the fashion in those days to dress in the costume of sitters for Sir Anthony Van Dyck. Women also chose to do this.

Whenever I see or remember the Blue Boy, I recall the smooth confidence of the young man, relaxed, calm, forthright, somewhat assertive, no doubt the product of wealth and class.

I spent 35-years, studying boys of this age as they entered my classroom for the first time, sussing out the troublemakers. Blue Boy would not be one, so long as he was treated with the respect he felt he deserved.

In my opinion, however, genius he was, no one, not even Gainsborough could paint that face and cavalier posture or the glint of light on the left sleeve without a model.

After I read Mr. Wark’s little book, believing it was a picture of Jonathan Buttall, I wondered how how he had changed by the time of his bankruptcy. Had his widow’s peak rendered him bald? Did he have a paunch from English beef, port and pudding? Had life battered that beauty and serenity out of him when he died at 53?

There is another story that Gainsborough painted the picture in answer to an essay by Sir Joshua Reynolds, head of the Royal Academy of Arts. Reynolds held that no great picture could be predominately blue. It must be made of warmer colors. Gainsborough took this as a challenge to be disproved.

When Huntington Museum xrayed the Blue Boy , it discovered that Gainsborough had reused an old canvas. The head of an older man was revealed above the Blue Boy’s. Surely, a painter would not reuse an old canvas in front of a wealthy sitter. Surely, Gainsborough fired up by the challenge had seized the first canvas that came to hand in his enthusiasm to disprove the older artist.

Blue Boy went back to London for a four month visit on the hundredth anniversary of its relocation to the United States of America, but it is home at the Huntington again now.

If I were Los Angeles, I would get GS to drive me down to San Marino to see the true colors of the Blue Boy. GS would keep track of the cane I’m always misplacing.

See joyce@joycehowe.com for latest book
I Trust You to Kill Me
Sign up your email address for a FREE cop of e-book,
Monthly draw.

WINTER SOLSTICE 2023

First posted on

snowy woods

The winter solstice occurs on Thu Dec. 21, 2023 at 9:27 p.m. Eastern Standard in North America. This day will last 7 hours 14 minutes here to Toronto, Canada, the shortest day of the year and the longest night. After that the light will grow day by day until the longest day around June 21st.

The poem that follows was written in Venice Beach, California in 1993, a long way from Hereford Hill in Quebec’s Eastern Townships where a child rode in a sleigh under a buffalo robe, for Buffalo robes still existed then. The woods have grown ever deeper. The country belongs to the rabbits, the deer, the moose and the bears up on the mountain.

Winter Solstice

Such deep dark
so long sustained
should smell of balsam,
cedar, pine,
should have a canopy of icy stars,
of Northern lights,
shifting panes of white or green.

-A child under a buffalo robe
watching a sleigh runner
cut through blue
moon-shadowed snow
sees a rabbit track running off
into deep woods.-

Waking in the depth
of this longest night,
thirsty for sleep,I hear
the pounding surf,
an angry wordless shout
one floor below
and the reverberating slam
of a dumpster lid.
The sky at least is quiet:
a star hangs
above the flight path.

In my long sleep,
I have been following
that track back
into the woods
breathing spruce pitch
and resined pine,
lashed by boughs of evergreen,
until I have arrived at this
secret place
which only wild things know,
a place to shelter
while things end,
time unwinds,
the circle turns.

When we awaken,
shouting, homeless,
single and bereft,
we will go forth
into the growing light,
a light
we creatures of the dark
must yet endure.

This is the place,
now is the time
for the birth of the Child
in the cave of the heart.

See joycehowe.com for my latest novel, I Trust You to Kill Me set in 2120 in Colombia as climate change and sea rise change the world. People like Alena Rivera, an Intelligence agent, want to give up on life, but Destiny has other ideas.

I Trust You to KIll Me, the last words of a Sufi martyr killed on the bank of the Tigris in 922.

Sign up for a free e-book, winner to be drawn monthly.

MANAUS: HEAVEN and HELL

This is the Manaus Opera House today.

When my brother flew 900 miles up the Amazon in the early 70s with his French Belgian girlfriend, they were on the trail of ideas for a movie. Her father owned a film company in Brussels. The two of them had an established record of getting in anywhere they thought they would find an idea.

Manaus Opera house was abandoned and growing derelict at that point. My brother J. wanted to see the performance spaces. She insisted they go directly to the attic. I presume they must have taken a flashlight. (It was long before iPhones with a light app.) The attic had crates and chests of papers and documents. That is how F. found the idea for her next film, which eventually won first prize at the Rotterdam Film Festival. What interested my brother were bills of lading that showed the women of Manaus in the 1890s shipped their table cloths, sheets, pillowcases and other expensive linens down the Amazon River and across the Atlantic to England or Portugal to be laundered in non-Amazon water and returned. By the 1890s, faster ships took less time than they had earlier, as little as 15 days, but the trip down the Amazon had to be added in. It seems to me that even with a laundress as efficient as Lila at my local laundromat – Lily once carried six bags of laundry half mile to her shop, quick stepping all the way – the Manaus linen would have been away for two months.

No problem. Manaus was the center of a rubber boom. Most rubber at this time was coming from the far-east plantations grown from seeds stolen from the Brazilian jungles. Rubber plantations couldn’t grow in South America because of leaf blight, but the rubber plant -the hevea tree – could grow in the jungle, a tree here and a 20 minute jog away, another one there.

It was very time-consuming work, but that was not a problem. The rubber men had guns and thugs. They rounded up the natives and offered them jobs. The native men had wives and children. They considered the guns and thugs and were convinced to take the job. First they had to buy the kit – three months supplies of food, clothing and equipment to tap the ‘weeping trees’. Everything was of poor quality and priced high. Then there was the cost of transportation by river. Getting there through rapids and waterfalls was half the fun. By the time, he arrived at camp, the worker owed $150.

He was on a two-year contract, Soon he would have to take out another loan. Poor pay meant that he never came near to paying the first one.

Every day the trees had to be tapped anew, beginning before dawn, a slog through the jungle from one tree over a long trail to the next. Three hundred in total. A few hours latter, the cans had to be emptied into a pail. In the afternoon, the rubber had to be cured by rolling it into a ball and heating it in smoke. This process took 3 hours and by the end the ball weighed 200 pounds. Five centavos for a kilo-2.2 lbs. Twenty-five lbs at that rate earned 11.4 centavos.

Wade Davis in One River is my source. I am grateful to my fellow-Canadian for his documentation. Perhaps, like me, he considered trying to relate centavos to the dollars of the time, but gave up because he didn’t trust his research.

The boss expected more than the 25 pounds the worker could produce. Punishment was excessive. Men would be kept chained up for a year at a time. Dying was no escape, for then your family had to pay your debt, so your son would be drafted into the rubber biz and your daughter sold into prostitution.

A literal stable of daughters was a useful device for breeding new workers. These new people grew up tough, subject to whippings and unspeakable abuse. It was a kind of experiment in survival of the fittest. The first paragraph of page 239 of One River describes cruelty that has put me off lunch.

Meanwhile in Manaus, things were different. Even the laundry was cared for.

On dazzling white, stiffly ironed table cloths, dinners costing as much as $100,000 were served on the best imported China and eaten with sterling silver. The caviar was Russian, the champagne French, the butter Danish, English meat, German potatoes, Belgian pickled vegetables. (Brother J. has not introduced me to those delicacies.) The guests were seated at tables of Carrara marble on chairs of cinnamon and cedar shipped from London. The gentlemen would retire, not to the smoking room, but to one of a dozen elegant bordellos and choose from a menu ($400 for a 13-year-old Polish virgin/ $8000 for the desirable lady who showered in iced champagne her clients could lap up). Jewels were acceptable payment. Manaus was the world capital of diamond consumers. Of course, $100 bills were used to light cigars. Of course, horses drank champagne from silver buckets.

Eduardo Ribeiro, the governor of Amazonas laid out cobble-stoned boulevards, cobbles from Portugal, still the colonial power. The roads were lined with ornamental trees from Australia and China. He saw to it that Manaus had the first telephone system, a race track, many schools,hospitals, churches, banks and a Palace of Justice, which cost $2.5 million. He installed water filtration, an electric grid for a city of a million, and a large streetcar network when the population was only 40 K.

His crowning achievement was of course the Theatro de Amazonas, a monumental Beaux Art Opera House, the focal point of central Manaus. Again ironwork from Glasgow, marble and gold leaf from Florence, crystal chandeliers from Venice, 66,000 tiles from Alsace-Lorraine, murals of the jungle, painted in Europe and shipped back, total cost a mere $2 million.

Opening night, January 6, 1897, the Grand Italian Opera Company performed La Gioconda. Rumor is that the Opera House was built to entice Caruso to sing there. Apparently, it worked. “Operating expenses included subsidies of more than $100,000 a performance, the cost of luring established performers across an ocean and a thousand miles up the Amazon to a lavish venue in the midst of a malarial swamp” (Davis p. 235).

The opera house was refurbished in 1990, closed after one performance – residents who got squeezed out by tourists rioted- and opened finally in 1997. A new symphonic orchestra saved it.

Seems like the background for a novel, probably a mystery

In my novel, I Trust You to Kill Me, set in 2121 in Colombia, the main character Alena wonders aloud to Santiago, a whiskey priest, why there has been so much cruelty in their country.
“I’m thinking of writing a book called The Dead of Colombia.” She shakes her head. “The indigenous people, all the dead from the civil wars, the drug cartel dead, all the sea-rise dead and now all the dead from raiders. Escobar had 46,000 killed in Medellin alone. It would be a big book. And the bodies — the bodies ended up in the Magdalena River, eaten at by vultures. Where does the murder and cruelty come from, Did we Spanish bring it with us?”

“We eat too many peppers, probably. We drink too much guaro. We take too much cocaine,” says Santiago.

“Maybe it’s just the heat and the mountain coffee,” she says. She wanted to sound ironic but she only sounds sad.

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Prologue to Never Tell ( a memoir)

I'm the big sister here, but the story is about a younger me.

PROLOGUE

Until my father died, I had almost no memory of my childhood.  My remote past was like a country landscape after a heavy snowfall.  There were a few barely recognizable humps and bumps around which I embroidered fragmentary anecdotes, but no extensive narrative. 

I thought this was normal.

It’s true that from time to time my present life made no sense either.  There was, for example, a conversation with my mother when I was in my thirties.  I was with her in her and my father’s bedroom.  The jewellery box was open and I saw a tiepin lying on their dresser.  I picked it up and read aloud, “Knight of the Temple Mater”.

“It’s your father’s of course.  From his club.  Rod can get Blake into his club, but you can’t keep putting it off.”

Putting it off, I wondered, since when.

“Blake doesn’t join clubs,” I replied.  I knew that much about my husband.  He hated what he regarded as the herd mentality.

I put the pin down and passed on to the beads hanging out of the jewellery box, more or less oblivious to my mother’s urgent pleading that it was now or never and did I know what I stood to lose.

I had no idea and continued to have no idea until thirteen years after her death and six months after Rod’s.   I was fifty-one by then.

Suddenly the past unrolled from my subconscious in high definition and Dolby sound, scene after scene, complete with word-by-word dialogue.  And it wasn’t just me.  My two sisters and my nieces were also in the grip of inner horror movies.  My son had less specific flashbacks although no less disquieting.  Only my daughter in Los Angeles and my brother in Brussels seemed immune.

At the time, none of us was in therapy and we seldom saw each other, so no one was planting ideas in our heads, but when desperation drove us to consult each other, we discovered that we had separately remembered the same scenes.  Ultimately four of us had our heads read.  That is we were tested at great expense by a clinical psychologist and pronounced sane.  Eight years later six of us received compensation from the Ontario Board of Criminal Injuries.

The Temple Mater – the Mother Temple – apparently, was incapable of continuing the mind control that its knight had so effectively wielded while he lived.

I have set down what I remembered of my life until I was eighteen.  My amnesia did not end there, for there was much about my adult life that had been lost to me as well.  Indeed, it became apparent that my alter ego, Delano, conducted a whole other secret life in the middle of the night, in which she served the old mother temple as assiduously as Rod ever had if more benignly.  But that is a story for another time.

Epilogue

I am talking to the hens in bright sunshine in the barnyard, barely taller than they are in my three-year-old body.  They are big and white and full of chatter as they step around me, sometimes raising their voices as if they were asking me a question.   I call them by the names I have given them inquiring about their health and whether they have laid an egg today and they answer me when I speak to them.  The little brown banty hens are too busy hunting for corn I have scattered to speak.  The rooster is otherwise occupied up on the roof of the henhouse.

Then I hear my name and looking up, I see my daddy at the barn door, beckoning me.

“He’s here, Joy.  He’s here.  Come quick.”

I drop the corn and rush to the barn.  My father takes my hand and leans down to whisper, “Be very quiet and move slowly.”

He walks with me slowly and softly down the aisle behind the empty cow stalls.  I crane my neck to see.  We stop when we can see the dish on the floor beside the cow door.  It is put there, filled fresh after every milking, for the cats. 

There, flicking its long tongue into the milk is a little green garter snake.

I Trust You to Kill Me
Set in 2120 In Colombia, this tale of survival as the climate worsens, this story of a functioning
family will warm your heart in the holiday season. Available in hard cover, paperback and e-book from Kindle.

To win a free e-book of Never Tell or I Trust You to Kill Me, please go to joyce@joycehowe.com and leave your email address

Never Tell
a memoir of a cult daughter shows how resilient children can be.
e-book available. paperback and hard cover coming soon

OLVIDALA (Forget Her)

Journals before 2116 when they numbered 139 or so.

Olividala! Forget her. That girl we hardly knew, the one who kept the daily writings, so she could remember the past and find herself. Let’s send the past to Iron Mountain and look toward the future.

This blog is called 115journals  because that is the number of journals I had when I started it. My idea was that keeping a journal and reading could help us change. Last week I had 150. Most of them have since gone to Iron Mountain.

It is charming to think of the mostly black, hard-covered volumes striking out with backpacks and water bottles into China’s mountain ranges in search a cave-dwelling guru, a Master Journal who would continue their enlightenment.

In fact, Iron Mountain allegedly had a half-price sale, and Mohammad A. brought a trolley and wheeled them down in the elevator,13 stories, and out to his SUV.

They were a weighty lot. Each non-acid sketch book cost me $10 or more . Dating from 1978, the first few were poetry. Most of my days for 42 years began with half an hour journal writing. If nothing else, they were a record of the weather in the world at large and in my mind. They were also clear evidence that I didn’t know what I thought until I wrote it down.

They began, of course, in agony, but this is a happy story.

The trolley trip cost $25 and the cost per pound (what? not per kilo) was $228. Reportedly, I saved $24.96, which is, by no means, 50%. I didn’t question that, anymore than I would have questioned the vet’s price for’ putting down’ a beloved pet.

I have had a very hard week – losing a bag of wine and expensive pharmaceuticals, losing an extremely important e-mail. After embroiling Uber and the e-mail sender in futile searches, I found them both under my nose.

Youngsters would make nothing of such lapses, but really old people line up and bash on the doors of locked wards. ‘Save me. Save me.’

It was a week that could make anyone cry, but I wept non-stop until my new, cataract-free lens swelled up again, and my drooping eyelids dampered my vision. I wasn’t crying about the 42 years of my life, which I now had no way of recalling. No. (I kept saying to me.)

Getting the  150 books out of their bulging bookcase in my bedroom was like selling my low-mileage 2018 Corolla. (Did you know it’s a good year to sell a car.) The Corolla got me out of debt and paid an excellent editor to edit my new novel I Trust You to Kill Me, set in Colombia in 2120.

There will be 2 more books in the series, which will end in about 2180. But how will it end? Optimistically or the other?

I actually didn’t know until I had a house full of visitors. A  bizarre twist and a whole new perspective presented itself. What if there was a third way to end. I hope I memorized the detail.

It is not an S&M book.

Alena, the protagonist is an intelligence agent, who has been taught to say, “I Trust You to Kill Me” to a fellow agent if she is badly wounded, in order to save the mission. It also comes in handy in a dying civilization when you can’t endure further catastrophe.

I don’t have a real file-cabinet anymore. Life has down-sized me to a one-bedroom apartment. I put my research and plan files into boxes I buy in dollar stores. They are now stored on the otherwise empty bookcase in my bedroom.

Don’t cry for me, little black books,
I’ve gone on and
You know that I’ll always love you
Through the all lean years and the mean years
Until we’re make the NY
Times.

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